R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Ya I sang it too!

I have a million things on my mind today. So much so I knew I needed to sit down and write. I have failed to decide exactly what direction these notes will go, so I guess we're all along for a ride today. Do I tell you all about the crappy situation I am dealing with at work? Another mind bending argument I had with my husband? Do I share with you the lessons I have learned from both?

My mind is heavy lately with the complete disregard I have noticed people have for each other. This goes for me too, I snapped at my husband last night in a way he doesn't deserve and in the same breath I told him I wish he would treat me like he treats work. Have you ever had that moment when you say something out loud, hear it as you said and feel like a total a-hole? Yup, BAM, as soon as I said those words to him- I realized I am not doing that for him. Had I snapped at my boss like I snapped at him I would lose my job. Why is it I feel someone who has blatantly disrespected me deserves for me to bite my tongue and shoulder his negative attitude towards me? Yet with my husband I am damn sure to make sure he knows how I feel. Seems a little backwards to me, yet here I am in.

In the last month I have some how managed to let myself be stepped on by my superiors. I have kept my mouth shut because of the audience that would have witnessed my smart ass responses. Looking back I kind of wish I would have taken the opportunity to make him feel as small as he made me. Maybe I should have spoken up for myself and insisted I get the same respect that I am told I must give. I mean, I am known to have witty responses, a sharp tongue and quit wit.. Alas, I bit my tongue. I was sure it was going to bleed by the way. But in the moments that seem to leave me with a hole in my stomach, I keep my mouth shut. Why? Because they are the executives? Because they carry a fancy briefcase and have watches more expensive than my car? Aren't those the reasons they should be showing respect to the ones they so eagerly step on on their way up?

I found a postcard yesterday that I shared online. It says exactly what we all should live by- if what I am doing is not making me happy, serving me or helping me, GET OUT! It goes without saying sometimes it isn't as simple as packing up and leaving because we all have bills to pay. But why should I stay in a place that gives me a fight or flight feeling? What good is staying doing anyone? Cue the ripple effect- they cut me down and it spreads, getting larger and larger the further out it expands. Who suffers from that? Me-My kids- my husband-my friends. That ripple has to stop.

I had coffee with a dear friend today and he shared something with me, a client being treated terribly by a customer. Happens everyday right? Part of business they will tell you. Yes, I understand, but what gives anyone the right? He expressed his concerns with the patrons actions. We both asked, what do you do? Do you address it understanding what your about to unfold will undoubtedly end badly for you? Do you try to delicately bring it up? Or do you do as most of us would and keep your mouth shut, not speaking up for the one who was done wrong. Why is it we take the easy way, the "respectful" way? At that point who are we respecting? Respect, boy did Aretha Franklin hit the nail on the head. Plus she gave me a fun little ditty to sing me through spelling the word. But really, is respecting each other that hard? Is respecting yourself enough to stand up for what you don't deserve that wrong?

I guess my heart has been hurting for those of us too politically correct to speak up to those we put above us. Somewhere along the line I missed the memo with the pecking order- oops?!

I grew up with a single mom who provided for us by waiting tables. Maybe because of this I have ZERO tolerance for people who believe it is their right to bark orders at others. What makes your suit and tie so much better than the apron carrying the days orders and stains of yesterday's wages?Because both require hard work, one just gets paid more.

My beautiful mother taught me the basics, as I believe any good parent will teach their kids-

Respect, compassion, empathy, KINDNESS!

I choose to let these lead my life. Admittedly, I have some work to do. Witnessing these events and being directly in the line of fire has really made me aware of the arrogance around me. I guess what I needed to get off my chest today is that it's time we choose happiness. We get this life one time. Do we want to live it taking disrespectful orders from the new guy who thinks his actions are OK? I made the decision for myself yesterday, after yet another instance of public humiliation, that it isn't serving me anymore. Those actions don't fulfill my desire to succeed, nor do they make me want to do better. In fact, they make me sick. I respect myself enough to step away. So in this instance of fight or flight, I will fly. Proudly mind you, because I get to make this life what I want.

I told my husband last night as I fell asleep that I am tired of people ruining my good days. "Then stop letting them." was his response. So I woke up today and killed it at work. They hired me to do a job, so I am doing it. Because mama also taught me a thing or two about strength and resilience. We've all got the power to choose the ripple effect we expel, make it worth while for those feeling the effect of it.